This one is a bit more for women who will know what I am talking about. Comfy underpants are a bit of a holy grail among women, so I wanted to share with you my story of finding a pair of truly comfy underwear.
For the uninitiated (by which I mean blokes) it's important to know there are only 2 kinds of women's underwear:
Granny pants
Granny pants look like something your grandmother would have worn - heck, they look like something she might have made at home herself. They sit approximately 2 sizes too big. They come up over your belly button & extend to your knees. And they are not comfortable. The Bridget Jones movie got that wrong - they just aren't. Mind you the second type of underwear isn't either.
Ooh la la undies
Ooh la la undies look really sexy on the rack, before you put them on. They might even look sexy on. They are a tiny piece of synthetic (awful itchy nylon pretending to be silk). If we could afford silk ones, I'm not sure we'd escape the next problem: Ooh la la undies feel 2 sizes too small & creep up your bum during the day so you end up having to "discretely" pick them out of your butt crack twice on the way to work, on all of your breaks at work and at least twice while you're at your desk. On the way home you've usually just given up & are ignoring it.
It's about this point some of us have given up & gone for g-strings. I'm not going to give them their own category because they are really just another version of Ooh la la undies for those of us who've given up. G strings already sit right up in your butt crack so once you get used to the fact that they're there it's just a case of ignoring it. You can pretend all you like that it's for fashion, or that it's because you don't want VPL (Visible Panty Line), but really, it's because you've given up.
I gave up once. For quite a while I wore those little things. They do dry quickly on the line. And I suppose in terms of resources you could say that the small amount of fabric required to make that piece of underwear is about 5% of what goes into the granny undies. So, they're environmentally friendly knickers.
Blokes do not seem to have the problems women have with underwear. You see the selection of blokes underwear - it's all the same. Basically you've got either jocks or boxers. As far as I can tell boxers are kind of like going commando & jocks are for the man who prefers a little "support". But they just don't have the same issues women do - it's basically white, grey or navy.
So this time I saw a pair of undies that were clearly for women but they looked like blokes underpants. They even looked as though they had stitched support for a *cough* "package". I walked away (actually I was online shopping, so technically I clicked away). I can't wear boys undies. It's just wrong. But I kept coming back. They looked just like boys underwear. Boys seem to be really comfortable. *I* want to be really comfortable.
After a while I began to cave. I knew. I knew they were going to be properly comfy underpants. So I bought a pair. Just one. Just to try.
You know what I'm going to say don't you? Of course they were comfortable! The most comfortable pair of underwear I've ever worn. And yes, I went straight back online & bought enough to never have to wear uncomfortable underwear ever again. And I don't care if they look like boys underpants. I just don't. I'm going to wear my boy pants with pride!
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Sunshine & worm poo
From a few posts back some might remember me talking about my worm farm.
That worm farm has progressed into two - the worms have multiplied plentifully over the months, it's been quite a population explosion. And I've been enjoying putting our food scraps out into the farm, rather than chucking them in the bin. Makes you feel all virtuous ;o).
It's been a few months & I realised it was definitely time to start harvesting some of that lovely worm compost. Vermicast they call it. All the sites on the net talking about worm farms talk about this aspect with real pride - it's clearly something to look forward to. The chance to reap what you've sown, the fruits of your labours...the prize.
Nowhere on the net does it tell you that worm poo or vermicast as devotees lovingly call it, smells just as bad as poo from any other creature. Pongs. Reeks. Stinks. I thought my cat's poo was pretty stinky some days. Nothing prepared me for the smell of poo from my worm farm.
I'd been so clever - lured almost all of the worms down one end of the bin so I could get to the "compost" at the other end. A few remained, which meant I had to hand pick through the smelly, smelly worm poo to recover them & pop them back in with their cousins (well they must be fairly well inbred by now. I bet not even those first 1000 worms all came from different families).
A half hour later I had about six litres of "vermicast" & was pretty much over the smell. I had to get out. I had to get out immediately.
It's not a lot of compost - not when you have rhubarb & fruit trees. On the other hand I don't know if I could handle any more worm poo. I'm not really looking forward to next time. But there will be a next time. That insane feeling of virtuousness I get from not putting food scraps in the bin & recycling them into something for my garden demands I keep this worm farm thing going. Bokashi is just not quite the same somehow (though so much less smelly!).
It's not all sunshine & worm poo. I haven't been doing so flash lately & realised one of the side effects of my pain medication is feelings of intense sadness. Well then, that could explain it I guess. You can't have everything. Hopefully it will settle down with the rest of the side effects.
That worm farm has progressed into two - the worms have multiplied plentifully over the months, it's been quite a population explosion. And I've been enjoying putting our food scraps out into the farm, rather than chucking them in the bin. Makes you feel all virtuous ;o).
It's been a few months & I realised it was definitely time to start harvesting some of that lovely worm compost. Vermicast they call it. All the sites on the net talking about worm farms talk about this aspect with real pride - it's clearly something to look forward to. The chance to reap what you've sown, the fruits of your labours...the prize.
Nowhere on the net does it tell you that worm poo or vermicast as devotees lovingly call it, smells just as bad as poo from any other creature. Pongs. Reeks. Stinks. I thought my cat's poo was pretty stinky some days. Nothing prepared me for the smell of poo from my worm farm.
I'd been so clever - lured almost all of the worms down one end of the bin so I could get to the "compost" at the other end. A few remained, which meant I had to hand pick through the smelly, smelly worm poo to recover them & pop them back in with their cousins (well they must be fairly well inbred by now. I bet not even those first 1000 worms all came from different families).
A half hour later I had about six litres of "vermicast" & was pretty much over the smell. I had to get out. I had to get out immediately.
It's not a lot of compost - not when you have rhubarb & fruit trees. On the other hand I don't know if I could handle any more worm poo. I'm not really looking forward to next time. But there will be a next time. That insane feeling of virtuousness I get from not putting food scraps in the bin & recycling them into something for my garden demands I keep this worm farm thing going. Bokashi is just not quite the same somehow (though so much less smelly!).
It's not all sunshine & worm poo. I haven't been doing so flash lately & realised one of the side effects of my pain medication is feelings of intense sadness. Well then, that could explain it I guess. You can't have everything. Hopefully it will settle down with the rest of the side effects.
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Patience
Today I called Access Ability. I don't know anything about the service, but the disability people said I needed an assessment to see what sort of things we're going to have to think of with me & here at home, to make life manageable. So I called. I left a message for the nice voice on the answer phone since she wasn't there.That all seemed to go pretty normally.
A little while later I got a call back:
"Hi this is ***** from Access Ability".
Good for you. I'm so sorry for the people who have to talk to you today. If they're ringing you to ask for help, then it's not such a good day. They've just discovered their lives are not what they thought they were going to be, that they need help to manage day to day. Their world has been turned upside down. They are lost and confused. They have no clue what they need. They don't know who you are, or why they need to call you. They don't understand why you are being so rude. There is a way you treat people with a disability: it's called the same way you treat everyone else.
Anyone with a basic understanding of disability is aware of the experience of powerlessness that being disabled can create. Why on earth would you treat someone like this?
As for being "a client" - if you were a store I would not shop there. I would go somewhere else. If I had any choice whatsoever in the matter I would not use your service I would choose another.
For the record, I worked in mental health support for 4 years, was on the phones at Lifeline for 5 years. I assisted with the Total Mobility Scheme at my regional council, answering the phone to people who "wanted an assessment". I can do this woman's job with my disabilities, standing on my head. If she dislikes it as much as it sounded over the phone. I will be very happy to have it. It would be an absolute walk in the park for me & and an absolute pleasure besides.
Access Ability, if you have a think & decide you'd like a new receptionist - may I apply for the job? Your clients will be so well looked after & absolutely delighted with their contact. They definitely will not be a puddle of tears after making the call, unless it's because finally they spoke to someone who was kind.
A little while later I got a call back:
"Hi this is ***** from Access Ability".
"Oh hi *****".
*waits for a clue - like "how can I help you" - anything*.....um, I'm calling to arrange an assessment....".
"Are you a client of ours?"
*thinks - I've joined so many things, did I join this?* "No, I don't think I am".
"Is it you who is disabled or are you calling for someone else?".
*Oh, I know the answer to this one!* "Me, I'm disabled" *Oh my God. I'm disabled. How weird does that sound?*.
"There is a process to go through"."Okay, I just rang because the disability people told me I should call you".
"There is a process to go through - what is your disability?".*That was officious - what did I do wrong?* "I have two. Spondyloarthropathy & Hypermobile Joint Syndrome".
"There is a process to go through [yes, I got that impression, I'm beginning to wonder what it is...], you'll need a letter from your doctor saying what your disability is before you can access our service".Okay...I have to prove it. That all seems fair. I figured that would be part of a form filling out thing anyway...except I hadn't really thought that far ahead, because I still don't know exactly what it is Access Ability do apart from give assessments.
"I'll send you out some forms to fill in - you'll have to provide some paperwork from your doctor saying what your disability is"*ok, so I get it, I really have to prove it....wonders how many people spend their days calling up agencies pretending to be disabled just so they can ask for an assessment*
"What's your address"*gives address*
"I'll send you the forms, you fill them out & send them back"."I hope your day improves for you". Yes I am just enough of a bitch to say it.
"My day is great, thank you".Good for you. I'm so sorry for the people who have to talk to you today. If they're ringing you to ask for help, then it's not such a good day. They've just discovered their lives are not what they thought they were going to be, that they need help to manage day to day. Their world has been turned upside down. They are lost and confused. They have no clue what they need. They don't know who you are, or why they need to call you. They don't understand why you are being so rude. There is a way you treat people with a disability: it's called the same way you treat everyone else.
Anyone with a basic understanding of disability is aware of the experience of powerlessness that being disabled can create. Why on earth would you treat someone like this?
As for being "a client" - if you were a store I would not shop there. I would go somewhere else. If I had any choice whatsoever in the matter I would not use your service I would choose another.
For the record, I worked in mental health support for 4 years, was on the phones at Lifeline for 5 years. I assisted with the Total Mobility Scheme at my regional council, answering the phone to people who "wanted an assessment". I can do this woman's job with my disabilities, standing on my head. If she dislikes it as much as it sounded over the phone. I will be very happy to have it. It would be an absolute walk in the park for me & and an absolute pleasure besides.
Access Ability, if you have a think & decide you'd like a new receptionist - may I apply for the job? Your clients will be so well looked after & absolutely delighted with their contact. They definitely will not be a puddle of tears after making the call, unless it's because finally they spoke to someone who was kind.
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