Medic Alert

My Medic Alert bracelet must be broken. Not once has it alerted me to an approaching medic.

When I put it on it feels like it ought to create some sort of "invincibility shield". But it doesn't. Or at least it hasn't yet.

Next time I update mine I think that as well as listing "allergies" & "conditions" I will include a "wish list" of superpowers. Like "being able to stay upright for 15+ minutes!", and "walking short distances unaided!". Next time I fill in a form for Medic Alert I want to be able to add "Gluten, soy and dairy tolerant!"

That way if any medics sneak up on me (in the event that the new "alert" bracelet doesn't sound the alarm) they will know to administer vast amounts of chocolate cake. Stat!

Pros & cons of the outdoor loo

Pro: Excellent ventilation. Removes need for air freshener.

Con: Sharing loo with 2 spiders & an earwig.

Con: Can be quite cold.

Pro: Over head heat lamp provides quick heating.

Con: Quick heating from over head heat lamp overcomes spider which drops onto the lap of the user.

Moral: Carry a broom & look up before you sit. Alternatively, invest in trauma counselling.